Help
Sign In
second life
August 2009 
Our 'Nomad' Speaks ...
Posted on Feb 20th, 2009
by 
asecondlifediary
asecondlifediary
I've asked one of our most active community members to write an entry for our blog. I'll call him Gerry, so in future entries you can recognise him.
And here he is:
I came to the Island to meet a friend, and was intrigued by the welcome note. I had no idea what intentional communities are, but sustainability is certainly close to my heart. The idea of 'simulating' a sustainable community really appealed to me. And as if that was not enough, I saw the beautiful waves at the rocky beach, and it was love at first sight!
Till then I was a nomadic wanderer on SL… but after coming here, I started spending hours on this sim. Lying on the rocks, getting drenched by the waves, and talking to whoever came along and stopped to chat. I became a member of the Island community and also got onto the Ning forum, but I was not really inclined to contribute. I had come to SL in an 'RL wounded' state and was still hurting. I was not going to get 'involved' into anything!
This was a time of transition – for both myself in SL and also for our community. I had met a remarkable girl in SL who was making me sit up and take interest in my (second) life, and at the same time, the Island community was suddenly coming alive around me. The reins of the
community seemed to be in the hands of this energetic natural 'teacher', and she was galvanising people into action. Urging people to learn this or that, to take up this or that project, to attend meetings, to contribute… It was interesting to watch the community being stirred awake from the vantage point of the rocks on the beach.
And then one day my new friend and I discovered the cave. The animation called 'devotion' became our favourite. It conveyed something deeper to us than just the motions that our avatars went through. It helped us 'connect' at psychological and mental levels in ways that I had never imagined possible. But one day, I came to know that there was a suggestion to take the cave out to resolve the prim issue – that was the biggest problem facing the community then – we were fast running out of spare prims.
I couldn't bear the thought of the cave going away. It was almost a matter of life and death for me! And that is how, against my best intentions, I landed up in one of the meetings – all ready to fight for the cave!
The community didn't fight back. On the other hand, it embraced me. My earnestness was laughed at a bit, but mostly appreciated. And the cave was spared. The 'teacher' said she will go around the island trimming
everything to free up prims and the cave need not go.
I sort of got pulled into the community after that. People knew me now. So they stopped by to chat. Despite myself, I started giving opinions, suggestions… And yet, I resisted all attempts to make me take up a 'project'! Another new member, who had also come to the Island around the same time as me, got involved into learning to build and all, but I fielded all 'attacks' on me with good humour but refused to be drawn in. I was happy sitting on my rock, and was happy to observe, and I had great fun pulling the 'teacher's' leg about always wanting to get people to work at something or other!
One of the most interesting activities during this 'happening' period, was the hut decoration competition. I thought it was an ideal 'simulation' for people wanting to get a handle of the concept of sustainable life style. To design a comfortable and pleasant dwelling using the very limited SL resource – just 10 prims. Although I was
interested in the concept, I was not going to learn building in order to participate in the competition! But I encouraged my girlfriend to enter. She was a bit hesitant due to her time constraints, but once she decided to jump in, she went at it with all enthusiasm.
Of course all was not nice and smooth. 'The teacher' was brimming with ideas and I felt that she was pushing things along at a pace that not everyone was comfortable with. She was a naturally 'bossy' person and although tried honestly to curb that tendency, she wasn't successful
most of the time. And there were differences of opinion in the community about what exactly the goals were and what deemed as 'contribution' and what didn't. Although I was getting involved into attending meetings, greeting new visitors, etc., I was still a distant observer rather than a 'stakeholder' and I could see that while on one hand the island was bustling with a lot of positive energy, there was
also a growing unrest and uneasiness on another hand.
I could sense that trouble was round the corner and it struck rather unexpectedly. Little skirmishes blew out of proportions, some of the long standing members started distancing themselves from the community, uncomfortable issues about who is leading and who should lead, etc., started cropping up. And then one day suddenly the island went peaceful – a depressing and uneasy quiet descended on things. 'The Teacher' just distanced herself from everything, and things
collapsed down like a balloon that had sprung a leak. Things just stopped happening. 'The teacher' felt that she had proved a point by that – the point that she was driving the momentum and that her leadership was crucial to its success.
To my mind, if this was a test of 'leadership', it was actually a failure. A true leader is the one who enables others and gives the direction, and not the one who has to be in the driving seat all the time! At the same time it was unfair to not acknowledge all the hard work that 'the teacher' had put into galvanising the community into
action. That initial impetus was very crucial and very valuable. I also felt that the resentment of some of the members was unjustified to some extent and the various little skirmishes had happened because different people had different visions and different understanding of
expectations as well as obligations. The goals were not clearly defined. That to my mind was the crux of the problem.
I had a lot of mental struggle before I decided to take the second crucial step in becoming more involved in the community. Getting 'involved' into 'tilting at windmills' in RL had resulted mostly into disappointments and also pain in recent years… I certainly did not want to go down the same route in SL… and yet you cannot really stop
being yourself – whether you are a flesh and blood real person or a virtual avatar…
I finally surrendered to myself and shared with all community members my thoughts about what was happening to the community. I earnestly expressed the need to come together and define a statement of purpose,
and the roles, responsibilities and rights of members. Some half hearted attempts had happened earlier, but a final document clearly defining the vision was lacking, and I pushed for creating this document.
Once again I found that people received me with open arms and open minds. Some of the differences were resolved. The key people in the community worked together to evolve a statement of purpose that was
acceptable to all. Some systemisation of the membership was also initiated. What emerged was not perfect, but it was the result of a collective effort and reflected a collective vision.
In the meanwhile Mia had finally managed to get internet connectivity and started coming to the Island again, and she added another dimension to the community dynamics.
I suppose nothing in this world is ideal… It would indeed have been ideal for Mia and the teacher to work together. Things were again 'happening' in the community, and this time it was not a process being pushed by a couple of persons, but a number of people were starting to
initiate activities of their interest. Different people were leading different projects. The teacher looked at issues from a coldly logical point of view. Mia had a more humane and instinctive approach. The need was for both to work in tandem. Unfortunately it was not to be.
And now for reasons not really known or understood by me, the teacher has just vanished…
But then a robust community doesn't just fall apart. It trundles along. If one individual leaves, another takes his/her place… So the journey is continuing and I am no longer a distant observer, but in the thick of it all! Even though I do try sincerely to maintain objectivity and try to stay detached… Try to keep reminding myself that building this community is an experiment and whichever way it goes, it will be 'successful' as it will end up teaching us all a lot about the dynamics in an intentional community.
The community has indeed evolved in remarkable ways over the past few months. But more about this in the next entry…
Till then I was a nomadic wanderer on SL… but after coming here, I started spending hours on this sim. Lying on the rocks, getting drenched by the waves, and talking to whoever came along and stopped to chat. I became a member of the Island community and also got onto the Ning forum, but I was not really inclined to contribute. I had come to SL in an 'RL wounded' state and was still hurting. I was not going to get 'involved' into anything!
This was a time of transition – for both myself in SL and also for our community. I had met a remarkable girl in SL who was making me sit up and take interest in my (second) life, and at the same time, the Island community was suddenly coming alive around me. The reins of the
community seemed to be in the hands of this energetic natural 'teacher', and she was galvanising people into action. Urging people to learn this or that, to take up this or that project, to attend meetings, to contribute… It was interesting to watch the community being stirred awake from the vantage point of the rocks on the beach.
And then one day my new friend and I discovered the cave. The animation called 'devotion' became our favourite. It conveyed something deeper to us than just the motions that our avatars went through. It helped us 'connect' at psychological and mental levels in ways that I had never imagined possible. But one day, I came to know that there was a suggestion to take the cave out to resolve the prim issue – that was the biggest problem facing the community then – we were fast running out of spare prims.
I couldn't bear the thought of the cave going away. It was almost a matter of life and death for me! And that is how, against my best intentions, I landed up in one of the meetings – all ready to fight for the cave!
The community didn't fight back. On the other hand, it embraced me. My earnestness was laughed at a bit, but mostly appreciated. And the cave was spared. The 'teacher' said she will go around the island trimming
everything to free up prims and the cave need not go.
I sort of got pulled into the community after that. People knew me now. So they stopped by to chat. Despite myself, I started giving opinions, suggestions… And yet, I resisted all attempts to make me take up a 'project'! Another new member, who had also come to the Island around the same time as me, got involved into learning to build and all, but I fielded all 'attacks' on me with good humour but refused to be drawn in. I was happy sitting on my rock, and was happy to observe, and I had great fun pulling the 'teacher's' leg about always wanting to get people to work at something or other!
One of the most interesting activities during this 'happening' period, was the hut decoration competition. I thought it was an ideal 'simulation' for people wanting to get a handle of the concept of sustainable life style. To design a comfortable and pleasant dwelling using the very limited SL resource – just 10 prims. Although I was
interested in the concept, I was not going to learn building in order to participate in the competition! But I encouraged my girlfriend to enter. She was a bit hesitant due to her time constraints, but once she decided to jump in, she went at it with all enthusiasm.
Of course all was not nice and smooth. 'The teacher' was brimming with ideas and I felt that she was pushing things along at a pace that not everyone was comfortable with. She was a naturally 'bossy' person and although tried honestly to curb that tendency, she wasn't successful
most of the time. And there were differences of opinion in the community about what exactly the goals were and what deemed as 'contribution' and what didn't. Although I was getting involved into attending meetings, greeting new visitors, etc., I was still a distant observer rather than a 'stakeholder' and I could see that while on one hand the island was bustling with a lot of positive energy, there was
also a growing unrest and uneasiness on another hand.
I could sense that trouble was round the corner and it struck rather unexpectedly. Little skirmishes blew out of proportions, some of the long standing members started distancing themselves from the community, uncomfortable issues about who is leading and who should lead, etc., started cropping up. And then one day suddenly the island went peaceful – a depressing and uneasy quiet descended on things. 'The Teacher' just distanced herself from everything, and things
collapsed down like a balloon that had sprung a leak. Things just stopped happening. 'The teacher' felt that she had proved a point by that – the point that she was driving the momentum and that her leadership was crucial to its success.
To my mind, if this was a test of 'leadership', it was actually a failure. A true leader is the one who enables others and gives the direction, and not the one who has to be in the driving seat all the time! At the same time it was unfair to not acknowledge all the hard work that 'the teacher' had put into galvanising the community into
action. That initial impetus was very crucial and very valuable. I also felt that the resentment of some of the members was unjustified to some extent and the various little skirmishes had happened because different people had different visions and different understanding of
expectations as well as obligations. The goals were not clearly defined. That to my mind was the crux of the problem.
I had a lot of mental struggle before I decided to take the second crucial step in becoming more involved in the community. Getting 'involved' into 'tilting at windmills' in RL had resulted mostly into disappointments and also pain in recent years… I certainly did not want to go down the same route in SL… and yet you cannot really stop
being yourself – whether you are a flesh and blood real person or a virtual avatar…
I finally surrendered to myself and shared with all community members my thoughts about what was happening to the community. I earnestly expressed the need to come together and define a statement of purpose,
and the roles, responsibilities and rights of members. Some half hearted attempts had happened earlier, but a final document clearly defining the vision was lacking, and I pushed for creating this document.
Once again I found that people received me with open arms and open minds. Some of the differences were resolved. The key people in the community worked together to evolve a statement of purpose that was
acceptable to all. Some systemisation of the membership was also initiated. What emerged was not perfect, but it was the result of a collective effort and reflected a collective vision.
In the meanwhile Mia had finally managed to get internet connectivity and started coming to the Island again, and she added another dimension to the community dynamics.
I suppose nothing in this world is ideal… It would indeed have been ideal for Mia and the teacher to work together. Things were again 'happening' in the community, and this time it was not a process being pushed by a couple of persons, but a number of people were starting to
initiate activities of their interest. Different people were leading different projects. The teacher looked at issues from a coldly logical point of view. Mia had a more humane and instinctive approach. The need was for both to work in tandem. Unfortunately it was not to be.
And now for reasons not really known or understood by me, the teacher has just vanished…
But then a robust community doesn't just fall apart. It trundles along. If one individual leaves, another takes his/her place… So the journey is continuing and I am no longer a distant observer, but in the thick of it all! Even though I do try sincerely to maintain objectivity and try to stay detached… Try to keep reminding myself that building this community is an experiment and whichever way it goes, it will be 'successful' as it will end up teaching us all a lot about the dynamics in an intentional community.
The community has indeed evolved in remarkable ways over the past few months. But more about this in the next entry…
I agree with Gerry, as far as conflict resolution is concerned, we suck! I would have liked to have resolved the issue much better than we did - which actually was no resolution at all - just one of the parties disappeared, that's all.
As I think I said in a previous posting, I'm relieved because I just didn't want to face any more conflict.
Photo above: Mia and Cal in the 'famous' cave.
Access: Public
